Wednesday, August 26, 2009
I am feeling very tired today. As I sit here typing this entry I feel sluggish and worn. I'm kind of having a hard time with this today. I suffer from thyroid disease and as much as I would like to be able to kick this condition in the ass and be healthy and energetic there are days when I just can't feel well no matter what I do. I've been gluten free for about 3 weeks now (with one or two days where I ate something I shouldn't have) and have felt a bit better but not the way I would expect to. I did lose a couple of pounds though and that makes me feel accomplished. The weight thing really affects me too. Could that be considered an eating disorder? I stress about 2 or 3 pounds like they were 10-15lbs. I think about it every waking moment and torture myself endlessly about the weight. It's not so much about the way I look with the weight as much as it is about the poundage on the scale. I stand on the scale and pray that the numbers are lower and when they aren't I get sad. For real sad! I let it affect my mood. That sounds crazy, right? I think it is but it doesn't stop me from obsessing about it. Thyroid disease means that I have to work harder than others to accomplish small feats. It's not fun. For now I'm going to try and get some rest and forget about how I feel if I can. Until tomorrow. Good night.